<A story from 2011. As always, names have been changed to protect the innocent: Me.>
I got married and made Gershwin my last name. Shannon Gershwin. I kept my middle name the same, and moved my maiden name to the middle. Shannon Lee Jones Gershwin. Simple enough, yes?
Not at the DMV.
I had to renew my driver's license. When I changed my name and changed my license to match in 2006, there was no problem. Today, Mr. Carter, the DMV agent, had issues with my name.
Mr. C: (studying computer screen) There you are. I couldn't find you in my database under Gershwin. You are under Jones.
SG: But my last name is Gershwin, not Jones.
Mr. C: Jones-Gershwin then?
SG: No, Gershwin. Here is my license.
Mr. C: Well we can put the hyphen on the new license.
SG: There is no hyphen. There's only 1 last name. Gershwin.
Mr. C: But in the database it will automatically hyphen because you can't have 2 last names in the database.
SG: I don't have 2 last names. I just have 1. Gershwin.
Mr. C: Do you have your marriage certificate?
SG: No. Since my current license has been correct for the past 5 years with my married name, it didn't occur to me that I would need it today.
Mr. C: Well, I have to verify the name change.
SG: They verified the name change in 2006. My current license is correct. I don't understand what is happening.
Mr. C: Well the hyphen is going to be in there.
SG: Why? It's not in my current license. There is no hyphen. My name will be wrong on the license if there is a hyphen.
Mr. C: I can't change the database without proof of your name change.
SG: But I didn't change my name since 2006 when they correctly printed my license. I don't understand why it wasn't a problem then. Please don't make me come back on another day.
Mr. C: Hey Judy, can you come over here for a second??
Mr. Carter gets Judy involved, who showed him how to move my names around. Then he sends me to the photo lady. The photo lady gives me my print-out. With a hyphen.
SG: Excuse me, Mr. Carter?
Mr. C: Yes?
SG: There's a hyphen.
Mr. C: You said there was no hyphen!
SG: Right. I mean there's a hyphen here on the printout.
Mr. C: I took that dang hyphen out. Lemme see that...
And back to his desk we go. He summons Judy and fixes the hyphen. Again.
SG: Are you going to charge me another $32.00?
Mr. C: Not unless you give me any more lip.
SG: Thanks.
Mr. C: You have a nice day young lady.
Back I go to the photo lady. All is resolved. From the DMV, I head across town to the travel agent, Mary, who needs to see our passports before booking international airline tickets. I give her the passports.
Mary: So now do you go by Gershwin, or Jones-Gershwin?
SG: Gershwin. Just Gershwin.
Mary: Okay, I just have to make sure your airline tickets match your passport exactly.
SG: Well the passport says Shannon Lee Jones Gershwin, so does it matter?
Mary: What did we do for your trip to Ireland last year?
SG: I don't know, but it worked.
Mary: Well your credit card says Shannon Jones Gershwin and your AAA card says Shannon L. Gershwin.
SG: A lot of American documentation doesn't accept 2 middle names. It's not a problem in Europe, I guess I should move there. I wonder if George H. W. Bush ever went through this.
Mary: I'll look up your file from the trip to Ireland.
SG: That would be great.
Mary: So why does Marty's passport have an R for a middle name instead of his full middle name? That's highly unusual.
SG: I don't know why it's like that. Nobody called Interpol on our honeymoon, so I guess it's no problem.
Mary: Why did they put Marty instead of Martin? They aren't supposed to allow nicknames on passports.
SG: It's not a nickname. His name is Marty. Just Marty. It's not Martin. Birth certificate says Marty...
And so went my day.
No comments:
Post a Comment