The Little Red Hen, Dutchified

In honor of the previous post, I present to you a revised version of the childhood classic, The Little Red Hen with Pennsylvania Dutch flair. (Note: Many words are presented as they are pronounced in Dutch Country)

The Little Red Hen lived on a Lancaster County farm. On this farm, she was friends with the pious pig, the plain cat and the yoney frog.  One day, she found sprouted potatoes in her root cellar. She said to her friends, "Who will help me plant these patadas?"

"Not I," said the pious pig. "I'm prayin' to the Lord Chesus."
"Not I," said the plain cat. "I am goin' to sewing circle."
"Not I," said the yoney frog. "It's time to churn ice cream. Butter peekin."

"Praise Be, I'll go on and plant 'em," said the Little Red Hen without complaint, and she planted the potatoes herself.

When the potatoes were grown, the Little Red Hen asked her friends, "Who will help me dig these patadas once't?"

"Not I," said the pious pig, "I have Bible study - the book of Cheramiah."
"Not I," said the plain cat. "I am bakin' shoofly pies, raisin pies and whoopie pies for the bake sale."
"Not I," said the yoney frog, as he stirred his fragrant cauldron of apple butter over the open fire.

"Praise Be, I'll go on and dig 'em," said the Little Red Hen without complaint.

When the potatoes were harvested, the Little Red Hen asked her friends, "Who will help me peel these patadas?"

"Not I," said the pious pig. "I have to sing in the choir."
"Not I," said the plain cat. "The milk's turnin' so I need to make smearcase."
"Not I," said the yoney frog. "The ot hoss needs cleant."

"Praise Be, I'll peel and boil 'em myself," said the Little Red Hen without complaint.

She peeled and boiled and mashed the potatoes. She made from memory her grandmother's potato fastnacht dough. Then she asked her friends, "Who will help me fry these fastnachts?"

"Not I," said the pious pig. "It is well (it is well)! With my soul (with my soul)!" he sang.
"Not I," said the plain cat. "I need to redd up the table and wash the dishes."
"Not I," said the yoney frog. "I need to wash. I'm sour."

"Praise Be, I'll fry 'em myself, "said the Little Red Hen without complaint. She fried them and shook them up in a paper bag full of cinnamon sugar. When she was done, she generously filled a giant plate high with fastnachts. She wiped her wings on her dirty apron, took off the apron and hung it on the back of the door. She carried the plate to the porch and asked her friends, "Who will help me eat the fastnachts?"

"I will!" said the pious pig.
"I will!" said the plain cat.
"I will!" said the yoney frog.

"Komm Essen!" said the Little Red Hen. And she shared her fastnachts with all her friends because she made 30 dozen and her friends were all such hard workers. "You dare eat them til they're all," she said.  And they did.