Fashion Show

We are happy to announce the season's newest fashions! Whether you are a working girl or an expectant mom; a flashy gal or a demure dame, we've got something for you.

First, these casual slacks are more than meets the eye. Designer polyester blend fabric with a flirtatious sheen, they will please the fashion-forward lady who doesn't want to stand out in a crowd. The water repellent fabric and distracting pattern are perfect for the days when you spill your coffee on your lap between meetings. No one will see your stains and nothing will slow you down!

This next little number is the perfect item for a night on the town. With lots of pockets so you don't have to carry your purse on the dance floor, this vest is sexy yet sensible - sleeveless for warm nights, with removable padding in the back in case you sweat and don't want anyone to know. The padding also comes in handy in case you find yourself on your back for any reason during an alcohol-soaked evening. Classic plastic black buckles in the front allow you to snap it tight, or loosen it up for a little flash of cleavage and/or midriff.

The newest trend - travel girdles!  Get yours today!  These 2-piece girdles are a MUST HAVE this season, especially for the working woman who overeats at the China Buffet at lunch and has to return to work for an afternoon of incessant bloating.  Each panel has a firm cup for breast-boosting comfort, and they snap together at the side. The pattern makes them virtually undetectable under your silk blouse. They fold up and wrap together to be easily carried in your stylish Kate Spade handbag or Coach briefcase.

Next, we offer this Romance Harness. What lady won't feel feminine and super sexy in this tan, strappy, figure-flattering negligee?  Quick-release buckles in all the right places will not occupy your partner's hands for long. A zipper pocket in the back will come in handy for quick access to any accessories in the dark, like lubrication, things that tickle, or sandwiches.

For expectant mothers, we offer these trendy panel-front canvas pants. They are perfect for a day around town. The green canvas is reinforced to support swelling legs and expanding hips while flattering the oddly misshapen maternal figure.

Crocs are out and Ducks are in!  These unisex light-as-a-feather ducks are mix-and-match, so select for yourself a same-sex pair or dual-gender duck pairing. Because of their neutral colors, they will pair well with any item in your wardrobe. Simply tear off the plastic wrapper and you are ready to walk into your office looking spiffy and posh in downy comfort!

Resolutions 2016 Update: Physical

One of my New Year's Resolutions for 2016 was to touch my toes. Not as simple as it sounds! I am cursed with tight hamstrings, and am not sure I have ever in my life touched my toes with ease. A physical therapist once diagnosed me with a "tight kinetic chain" for whatever it's worth. What all this is getting at, is at face value, it sounds like it would potentially be the easiest of my 4 Resolutions, but it was not.  It was, in fact, the least successful. Here is a pictorial of my progress.

January in West Virginia (accused of nudity, but I'm in shorts).

March in Pennsylvania (in slipper socks, to prove that I am not naked).

May, atop Camelback Mountain overlooking Phoenix, Arizona.

Encouragement arrived from Cole in July. The perfect card!  The message inside was "Here's to achieving all of your New Year's Resolutions! Love & Support, Cole XOX."  I love him.

August in Newbrough, England, on a public footpath wall crossing.

October on the black beach of Vik i Myrdal, Iceland. I could touch them
here with a little bouncey-bounce - does bouncing count??

Although I reached my toes for the first time in who knows how long, I am declaring this resolution a FAIL because I was supposed to touch them comfortably. It's not comfortable at all, and gentle bouncing is required. I think I will keep this resolution on my list for 2017.

Resolutions 2016 Update: Spiritual

One of my resolutions for 2016 was to be continually thankful. Here is a smattering of the things, in no particular order, that I was (and continue to be) thankful for: the big things, the small things, and everything in between.

* flannel sheets * financial security * girlfriends * board games * Goldfish crackers * pain-free days for as long as they last * hiking boots * hiking buddies * hikes * anti-itch cream * hot tea * naps * naps with pets * Girl Scouts * reasonable airfare * Maricopa * AA * owls * yoga * veterinarians * intelligence * Jo * pedicures * husbands who humor me * National Parks * wrinkle cream * ability to swim * texting * lip balm * wi-fi * Graham Norton * KitKats * good health * safe travel * coloring books * strong teeth * Mom * boy cousins * sunshine * Giancarlo Esposito * my job * my brain * fresh blueberries * home ownership * baked goods * women who bake * rails to trails * good insoles * good health * good books * pandas of all kinds * fun days with the spouse * nature * fresh air * outdoor jazz * wine * Boris and his family * scallops * Prince * peaches at the peak of ripeness * padded bicycle seats * Smoochie and her parents * the local foodbank * music that moves me to tears * Facetime with hyperactive 7 year olds * HopeTree * nieces * nephews * Aleppo survivors * mornings on the deck with coffee * Olympics * husbands who make me laugh * attending international conferences * proper English tea * wild heather * silence * iron supplements * stool softeners * Dolly Parton's humanitarian efforts * American soldiers * the smell of Fall * the 'mute' button on the remote in an election year * puppies * the recovery of Jacob Wetterling's remains * chocolate chips * annual candy-making * emergency rooms * modern medicine * homemade Chex mix * good sense * a sense of humor * Harvey * oncologists * uplifting stories on the nightly news * Cole & Kevin * Netflix * peace * Christmas in PA * Betty White's immortality

Resolutions 2016 Update2: Community

Another year ends, and another New Year's Resolution goes with it.  Twelve months ago, I listed my 2016 resolutions, one of which was to repeatedly make a difference in the life of a stranger.  In June, I posted an update about this particular resolution, because it is an unpredictable one, and has been SUPER FUN.  The activities on this page pick up where the prior post left off.

Gave blood. I donated blood three times in the first half of the year. Perhaps it was no surprise that a blood test by my physician in August deemed me anemic. He said to take gobs of iron supplements and STOP donating blood. Rats.

Cake Delivery.  In Durham (England) this summer, Mom and I asked a local postman for dining advice. He recommended Vennel's Cafe.  Although he had never eaten there, he assured us their menu looked "quite lovely." We found the place tucked down an alleyway, and had a delicious lunch there. Mom and I conspired over tea, and before we left, we purchased a slice of lemon cake to go. We returned to the postal shop and presented him with the treat.  He was delighted, and also was oddly curious to know every detail of our meal (I had the pear, stilton and toasted walnut salad with carrot cake; Mom had onion and cheese quiche with banoffee pie). The postman good-naturedly posed for a photo, and we left assured that we made his day. Mom gets most of the credit for this random act.

Contractor's Tab.  Marty and I were waiting for our table on Date Night. It was crowded, and we waited at the bar. There were no pairs of bar stools available, so I sat and Marty stood behind me.  Soon a woman around the corner of the bar slid over so that 2 stools were available together and waved us over. She said she was waiting for a friend who was clearly not going to show up, and thought that Marty and I would enjoy the side-by-side stools.  She was a contractor in a knitted cap and a whole lotta swag. We had a lively conversation, and twenty minutes later we were seated.  I told her, "I'm glad your friend didn't show, or we wouldn't have met" and I sincerely meant it. We quietly got her check from the bar and paid her $10 tab without a word.

Science Fair.  I don't know how much of a difference this made in the life of a stranger, but I am counting it toward my resolution anyway.  I volunteered to be a judge at an elementary school science fair.  It was adorable at first, but the things kids do to gummy bears and fresh produce for the sake of science is disturbing. I voted Best in Show to the 5th grade girl who described her project, and at the end maturely explained to me that her original idea involved charging her brother's iPad with oranges, but she broke his iPad and got in trouble, so she changed her idea. I thought to myself, "And that right there is the whole premise behind research."

Angel Tree.  Every holiday season, our medical center erects a Christmas tree in the lobby, and hangs angels on it.  Each angel contains the name of a child in need, and an item requested for Christmas. I have never selected a name from the tree before. This year, I randomly pulled one off a branch for my resolution, and read it: "Zachary. 1-year old male.  Size 2T coat."  The day before the Angel Gift was due, I went to JCPenney. Penney's was having a sale and was trashed - I couldn't even find the kids' section.  Finally I found a lone, scant rack of boys' coats. There was only 1 size 2T - an adorable red and navy hooded coat. Score!  But it was $60.  Yikes!  When I saw the sign promoting a 60% discount I was pleased. At checkout, the clerk scanned an additional coupon for $10 and my total was $15.  Merry Christmas Zachary!!!

Finale.  On the last day of 2016, I did one more thing.  I wished a happy new year to the stranger parked beside me in the grocery store parking lot.  I told her, "I'd be happy to return your cart for you," and she smiled broadly.  New Year's Resolution completed! Now I can return to my crabby old heartless self in 2017.