Driving Miss Daisy

Mom and I wrote separate posts about driving in England. The best part about this experiment, is that we did not see each other's post prior to writing our own. This is what we ended up with.


Shannon Writes:
Vacationing in England last month with Mom was a total treat.  Except for one thing. DRIVING. I am used to steering wheels, ignitions and stick shifts in their logical proper places. But in England, they are not in proper places. They are in illogical, improper places. So is the direction of traffic.

If you've ever driven in a country that drives on the opposite side of the road than you're used to, then you know how stressful it is.  Now imagine that stress, and put your mother in the passenger seat.  Additionally, if you've ever ridden in the passenger side of an opposite-vehicle, you know how stressful that is also. This was the perfect storm for mom and me to argue.

Mom Writes:
“Mom, you want to go to England with me?”  “Sure, we will have so much fun!” This will be so exciting, I have never been to England. But then there was the rental car experience!  I elected not to be a driver. It is bad enough being a passenger on the wrong side of the car let alone trying to drive. Shannon was confident she could drive, after all she had done this before. Well let me just say my neck has not recovered yet from her slamming into the wrong gear and my head flying forward at the speed of light. Thank goodness for seat belts holding me back from the windshield!  And let’s not forget about the stalling out in the middle of a busy roundabout and her blaspheming Jesus when it was Jesus that she needed at that moment!!  Thank you Jesus for not letting anyone rear-end us (He loves me and knew my neck was already hurting - no need for more).

Shannon Writes:
Me: (entering busy traffic circle, known as a roundabout) Road construction! I hope our exit isn't blocked.

True photo of the construction we faced in Durham,
at Leazes Bowl roundabout. NOT FUNNY. One of
the hundreds of roundabouts we navigated.

Mom: You'll want to exit.
Me:  Which one?
Mom:  THAT ONE!
Me: What? (I swerve, car honks, I shift up instead of down. Car stalls.)
Mom: You should have exited there.
Me: (starting engine) Well I was already past it and in the wrong lane. Give me more notice!
<We loop around again, and exit.  Soon we come upon another busy roundabout.>
Me: Three lanes in a traffic circle?  Are you kidding me?  Which lane do I need?
Mom:  Hold on.
Me:  Let me just loop - What's this?  Who puts a traffic light in a roundabout? (I shift to the wrong gear; vehicle stalls).  JESUS CHRIST, TRAFFIC CIRCLES!
Mom: Stop swearing!
Me: Why would they have a LIGHT if they are going to have a CIRCLE?
Mom: I don't know, but stop swearing.
Me: (mumbling) Bullocks.
Mom:  What?
Me: Nothing. Okay, the light is green. Which lane?
Mom: That one (pointing).
Me: The outer lane? Where are you pointing?
Mom:  Yes!  Exit!  This exit!
<Swerve, exit, accident avoided>

Mom Writes:
So she is the driver and I am the navigator. Is this a good idea? She hands me these maps that she had copied - copied from what? What order are these pages in? Where are we?  2458A exit here. Here? Yes, here, oops we missed it.  I take verbal abuse and surrender maps since I can’t read them!!  But we always have the trustworthy GPS!  It says, take the 3rd exit off this roundabout. Sounds easy right?  Guess again!!  First off, was that the second or third exit we just passed and which lane should we be in the first, second or third? Good grief, I said, “well just keep going round till I figure this out”.  Not the right answer, trust me!

Shannon Writes:
We didn't use the "Sat Nav" (GPS) for our wandering until we knew where we wanted to end up for the day. Mostly we liked to wander without agenda. When we activated it, the GPS would provide polite instruction in a British accent.
Mom: I didn't hear her, what did she say?
Me: I think she said continue straight at the V.
Mom: The map doesn't show a V.  Rewind her.
Me:  It's a GPS. I can't rewind it.
Mom:  Turn up her volume.
Me: I don't think we can. Do you have your hearing aid in?!?
Mom: SHHH!  We missed her again. Close your window so I can hear her.
Me: But it's sooo pretty outside!
Mom: SSHHHHH! Close it!

Mom Writes:
So we finally get into the country and I think, "Great! This is easy, no traffic, just sheep roaming everywhere. I can navigate out here." Have more copied maps now. The road ends. I hear, "Do we go right or left?"  The map says go straight!  SCREAM!!!!  I guess we are on different roads!!

Shannon Writes:

Mom:  Okay up here in a few miles there is a town called 'Once Brewed.'

Me: We just went through Once Brewed.

Mom: No, it's ahead. Who names a town Once Brewed?

Me: I don't know, but we just went through it. I drove past a sign that said "Welcome to Once Brewed."

Mom: Well, look!  <points to road map but I am driving and can't see tiny map.>

Me: What's after Once Brewed?

Mom: Are we on the yellow road or the red road?

Me: MOTHER. The roads are only yellow and red on the map you know...

Mom: Well if we are going west, it should be Haltwhistle. Are we going west?

I think that was the point where I gave up entirely.

Mom Writes:

I won’t even mention the tiny, narrow roads with stone walls on both sides and you see a huge tractor coming in the opposite direction. Just use your imagination!!  Or the times she forgot to be British and drove on the wrong side of the road till we saw a car coming head-on!!  By the end, I had no fingernails left or skin left on my thumbs from nervous chewing. They hurt so bad!!   But I must say on the very last day driving to the Manchester airport, first in the country and then in the city, we did very well together and I think we finally had all our fears conquered but then it was time to return home!!  Nothing like Mother-Daughter time travelling in a strange country. What fun we had and memories we made. I’ll do it again anytime, my thumbs are healed now. Love you my dear daughter. Thanks for asking me.

Shannon Writes:
This is how "driving on the wrong side" always seems to be! Stressful. Memorable. Accident-free (so far). We were always relieved to park and get out of the car, laughing and hoping we could find our way back in to the hotel more easily than we found our way out. But the next time I venture into the UK on 4-wheels with Mom, I'm going to do it with Uber.