The Eeyore Within

I have a (former) friend who is a complainer. I call her Eeyore behind her back. Eeyore, if you recall, is the donkey from the Hundred Acre Wood where Winnie the Pooh and all his friends live. Eeyore is perpetually unhappy, complaining about everything. Being around Eeyores zaps my energy and brings me down. What a drag. Don't they notice they are sucking the air from the room? What my friend has taught me, is that I never want to be an Eeyore.

Of course sometimes I feel like Eeyore, I think we all do. Life gets complicated and makes us weary. When someone asks, “How’s it going?” it's so much easier to say “This sucks," than "I'm full of joy today!" and break into song. Yes, finding inspiration in the daily struggle is often a chore. In my line of work, I meet medically fragile children. It’s a privilege. When I am feeling Eeyoreish, I think of those children and I remember that my worst day is still pretty good compared to their situations. Sometimes I think about Tina.

Tina was 16 when she was diagnosed with bone cancer in her arm. Even after chemotherapy and radiation, she needed an amputation. To make things worse, she would need it amputated at the shoulder joint which would mean no prosthetic would be possible. She would live the rest of her life with 1 arm. But Tina and her family were gracious and grateful. They were SO pleased that the amputation would saveTina's life. Prior to surgery, Tina went to Glamour Shots as bald as could be, and posed in a tiara and sleeveless blouse, showing off both arms as a perfect pair for one last time. She was beautiful. She hung this picture on her hospital door to share with the nurses during her stay when they cut off her arm. She never once complained. She remained optimistic and cheerful right until the end. As a reminder of her spirit, her family buried her in the sparkling tiara a week before her would-be graduation.

As sad a story as that is, I am inspired by Tina. She reminds me that no matter how bad things feel, my problems are always petty and life is wonderful and amazing every minute I get to live it. Even with its heartbreak, its complexities, life is a GIFT! We get to wake up every day and unwrap its mystery. None of our problems today or tomorrow are as big as Tina’s. We have nothing to complain about.

Other times, I think about the Watsons. They are parents to four children, two girls and two boys. The girls are healthy, but both boys have a genetic condition called Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Their condition has progressed so they cannot move at all, except their eyes. They need ventilators to breathe. They are 5 and 2 years old. I recently spoke to their mother, Erica. Erica remarked to me how blessed they are as a family; how fortunate their family is, and how happy they are. I said “Erica, this is remarkable to me – with your sons fighting for every breath, how do you find yourself blessed?” She said, “When our first son was born, they told us it would be a miracle if he lived to be 5. He did. We are the parents of a miracle and we are so happy about that.” Erica inspires me. To find so much good in so much tragedy is uplifting.

When I feel my Inner Eeyore start to surface, I remember the struggles of Tina and the Watsons. The more I squash the urge to complain about life, the easier it gets. I’m not going to lie – I still have some work to do. I still complain. But I recognize that complaining forces me to dwell on the negative, and letting it go sets me free. When I feel good, I notice people around me feel good. Erica’s attitude is contagious! Tina’s spirit is contagious! Every time I think of them or tell their stories, I feel inspired to be a better person. To complain less. To not sweat the small stuff.  My worst day is still a pretty good day.